Freedom Pals Unite!
by Tanzanite-Zircon
Summary: {What if the New Kid joined Freedom Pals instead of Coon and Friends?} When the New Kid is kicked out of the Fighters of Zaron, she finds herself as the newest recruit of Freedom Pals. As she and her new team fight to protect South Park from the crime wave and to stay ahead of Coon and Friends franchise, the new kid struggles with her mysterious past and her new time-ripping powers
1. Chapter 1

The Fractured but Whole: Freedom Pals Unite!

Chapter 1: I've got just the 'Toolshed' for this problem

(… Well shit.)

I stare at the line of lava covering Cartman's door step in annoyance. All I wanted was to play with my friends and now I'm a prisoner in Cartman's living room. I was playing Fighters of Zaron with Kyle, Butters, Craig, Clyde, and Jimmy when Cartman suddenly jumped into his backyard dressed up as some sort of mutant racoon claiming to be from the future. Seriously, what the fuck is going on! He called us over to his house, saying that he needed help from the Fighters of Zaron and their king.

… It should be 'queen' since I'm actually a girl, but they're not ready to know that yet. I might lose them and the others as my friends if they find out I'm really a girl. Cartman wouldn't be that big of a loss, but losing Kenny, Butters, Stan, Kyle, and the others would be a huge blow. I'll never understand why my parents force me to pretend that I'm a boy.

… Anyway, back to the flashback. I hear Craig say that they're not playing that anymore and then Clyde said that they were all split up. What were they talking about?

(Now that I think about it, I didn't see Kenny, Stan, Token, Tweek, or Timmy anywhere. And what did Clyde mean by they were all split up? Are they fighting again?)

I then saw Cartman holding poster showing a missing cat named Scrambles and that it would offer an award of $100 to anyone who finds Scrambles. It wouldn't surprise me that the fatass would seize the chance to earn $100. I then heard him say something about a massive crime wave threatening our town. Some sort of crime syndicate. I then hear Clyde say that this would be too big of a problem for Coon and Friends. Cartman then asks the guys if they would rather let the Freedom Pals find Scrambles first and get the reward for their franchise.

I am just completely lost at this point. Mrs. Cartman then alerts Cartman that some sort of noise is coming from his basement. Apparently, it's something called the Coon alert. The next thing I know, Kyle, Craig, Jimmy, Clyde, Butters, and Cartman all run out on me, Kevin, and the other two members of the Moorish tribe. Cartman just basically calls us dorks and says that we can't play with them anymore. I try to follow him to see what's going on but he stops me.

"Sorry Douchebag," He snarled, "but I'm not going to let you play this game with us. Nothing you say will convince me, not even the fact that your dad fucked your mom." He closes the sliding door of his kitchen.

(What that actual fuck! Why would he bring something like that up?)

And that now leaves me stranded in Cartman's living room. Kevin and the others did invite me to hang out with them, but that mostly involved sulking and doing nothing. I left them at the gates of Kupa Keep and entered Cartman's house. I noticed that there was a password lock on the basement door, so I won't be able to get in without the code. Cartman probably has it written somewhere, but do I really want to get involved with Cartman again after last time?

I decide to try and leave his house, but that's where the lava comes in. I can feel heat from the Lego brick lava pile covering the steps. Curse my dedication to the game. Mrs. Cartman is apparently calling the police to remove the lava from the door step.

(… Ok, we can get away with calling this lava because we're kids, but come on! How gullible is this woman? … Come on Sally, stay focused. Maybe I can climb the fence of Cartman's backyard to get out.) I turn on my heels and slowly walk back towards the backyard.

I suddenly hear the sound of crunching snow. I turn back towards the open door and notice a kid decked out with power tools talking into his wrist.

"Yeah. I'll be there in five minutes Mysterion. Toolshed out!"

(Toolshed? … Wait. I recognize that voice. Is that… Stan? It is!) As he ends his call with this 'Mysterion,' he turns towards Cartman's house and notices me.

"Douchebag," I hear him say, "What are you doing here?"

The only answer I can give him is a quick glance at the lava. I had become used to being silent, since my family tries to isolate me from other people most of the time. They have been able to determine what I want to say by looking at my eyes or body language.

"Oh, that's why," Stan replies, "Ok, hang on. I'll take care of it." He then jogs over to Cartman's garage and opens the garage door. He comes back carrying a small portable generator. I watch as he plugs in a large jack-hammer shaped tool and points it at the lava.

"Stand back Douchebag," Stan warns, "My sandblaster is pretty powerful. I don't want you to get hit with any lava." I quickly nod and take two steps to my right. I hear the sandblaster reave up and the next thing I see is red bricks flying into Cartman's living room.

"Oh, never mind," Mrs. Cartman sings into the phone, "One of my Poopsickins' friends took care of it."

(… Damn this woman.)

"You can come out now dude," I hear Stan declare. I pull myself away from the wall and walk out of living room. I greet Stan with a grateful smile. He smirks at me while twirling an electric drill with his fingers as if to say 'You're welcome.' I get a better look at his costume and I have to say, it's awesome. He's equipped with yellow eye glasses, a white t-shirt, blue jeans, black and red tennis shoes, red and black gloves, and a utility belt.

(Hey! He's not wearing his hat! That's a rare sight.) I notice him looking me over.

"Dude, why are you dressed like that," Stan questions. I wasn't wearing the costume given to me during our raid on the Fortress of Darkness. I basically looked like Jesus without the beard he is usually seen with. My costume now consisted of black tennis shoes, blue jeans, a light blue t-shirt, a red cape, and a crown. I point towards Cartman's backyard, showing Stan the castle of Kupa Keep.

"I thought we stopped playing that when Cartman threw the Stick of Truth into Stark's Pond," Stan replies.

(I thought it had more to do with the fact that Kenny became a Nazi zombie and nearly killed us.)

We didn't exactly stop playing the game. After saving Kenny by farting on his balls, we ended the war and united the kingdoms to form the Fighters of Zaron. I was crowned a king, but I was considered lower in rank to Cartman and Kyle.

I then see Kevin and the other two boys walk out of Cartman's living room.

"Well, I'm gonna go play Star Trek VR," Kevin says with excitement, "Bye Johnny. Bye Andre." He waves goodbye before walking towards his house.

(Oh. Their names are Johnny and Andre. Good to know.)

I guess Andre and Johnny don't see me and Stan since they start walking in the same direction as Kevin, probably back to their houses.

"Who just switches games like that," Andre questions.

"Yeah, we could've had an epic showdown between us and the king," Johnny mutters. I slightly frown as I watch them leave. I guess Stan notices because he places his hand on my shoulder. I turn my attention back to him and give him a gentle smile, letting him know I'm alright.

"Sorry you got kicked out dude," Stan says, "Honestly, I don't know why Cartman didn't let you in. You kicked some serious ass on our past quests."

(Maybe he's still butthurt that I fought for Kyle and kicked his ass during the raid of the school. I guess the fact that my class was a Jew didn't help either.)

"Say, how about you join Freedom Pals with me and the guys" Stan askes, "I'm sure Doctor Timothy would welcome a new member. Stan holds out his hand to me and offers a warm smile.

(I always liked playing superheroes before moving to South Park. And it's been a while since our last group game.) I grin and quickly nod my head. I grasp Stan's hand for quick handshake and the next thing I know, Stan is leading me away from Cartman's house and towards the Freedom Pals' base.


	2. Chapter 2

The Fractured but Whole: Freedom Pals Unite!

Chapter 2: Starting today, you're a Freedom Pal

I feel the cool mountain air caress my cheek and gently blow my long, brown hair back as Stan and I speed walk along the icy sidewalk. I carefully watch my step as I step over icy puddles and small snow piles, following Stan … err, Toolshed, to the Freedom Pal's base. Toolshed says that their base is at Token's house, so we'll have to cut across the playground to get there, since the other road is blocked for a concert to perform tonight. I suddenly hear an annoyed and yet scared cry ahead of us.

"Who would do such a thing?! It's just so MEAN!"

(Mr. Marsh?) Toolshed and I turn our speed walk into a jog as we head towards Randy. I see him heavily applying wax to the hood of an orange SUV.

"Dad," Toolshed calls, "What's wrong?" Randy slightly jumps at the sound of Toolshed's voice before dropping his rag and turning towards us.

"Oh Stan, it's you," Randy sighs, "Wait, what are you doing with my tools?"

"I'm not Stan right now dad, I'm Toolshed," he protests, "I need these to help me and the Freedom Pals fight crime."

"Oh, you're playing superheroes again. Well, how about you and your little sidekick go on a mission for me" Randy says.

(A mission?)

"Sure dad, how can we help," Stan replies.

"Someone has been keying your mother's car at night," Randy growls, "It's happening EVERY night. I thought it was just one of you damn kids but, well … Here, come here, take a look at this." Randy turns on his heels and walks towards his garage and lifts up the garage door. Toolshed looks at me with a mixture of shock and concern. I guess he didn't know about this. We walk into the Marsh's garage and up to Randy's workbench.

"Whoever is scratching the car is also leaving notes," Randy explains, "I'm just scared it's a …jilted lover or something."

"What have they been writing dad," Toolshed questions.

"ʻYou won't forget me THAT easy.' 'I thought we had something.' 'I'll tell the world about you, bitch,'" Randy lists.

(Dude, this is serious!)

"Listen, I'm sick of having to buff that shit out," Randy snarls, "Can you boys just catch the guy who's doing this to your mother's car? The guy only comes out at night. If you succeed, I'll follow you guys on Coonstagram. I'm sure your team would want me as a follower- I'm a pretty big deal in this town." Randy then picks up a polisher buffer and continues his work on the SUV.

(Wait. What the fuck is Coonstagram?)

"Coonstagram is a social network created by Doctor Timothy," Toolshed explains, "He made it when we were all part of Coon and Friends."

(Doctor Timothy? … Oh, you must mean Timmy. I didn't know he was so good with networking.)

"Well, don't worry about the car creep dad," Toolshed beams, "Just leave it to Freedom Pals!" We then jog out of the garage and continue our way across the sidewalk. I can't help but feel myself softly groan after leaving the Marsh's garage. I thought I would be used to handling Randy's shit, especially after everything he had me do during the Stick of Truth. I had to face Nazi zombies, government agents, and had to disarm a snuke up Mr. Slave's ass, but now he's asking me and his own son to track down some car-keying whack-job who's most likely insane in the membrane! I guess Toolshed noticed my annoyance.

"Yeah, my dad can drive me up a wall too," Toolshed sighs, "But, it's kind of thanks to him that I have my mental control over all power tools … according to my backstory. … You want to hear it? We have a few more minutes before we reach the base."

I see Toolshed give me a hopeful grin and I see his eyes sparkle with excitement. I guess backstories are a big deal in the superhero world.

(… I can't say no to that face.) I give him a sweet grin and a quick nod to show him that I'm all ears. I can't help but feel warmth wash over my heart to see Toolshed light up like a Christmas tree as he begins his origin story.

"Sweet! Well, when I was just a child my father was in the garage, working on a project," Toolshed laments, "There was a huge storm and lightning blew my father of his workbench. I ran to help him, but at that moment another blast somehow fused his power tools onto my body. I became a superhero, while my father was left mentally impaired. Perhaps Toolshed wants to help his father because he feels he could have saved him all those years ago"

(No offense dude, but I think your dad has always been mentally impaired. All of the adults in this quiet mountain town are mentally impaired! It's not your fault so don't blame yourself.) I place a comforting hand on Toolshed's shoulder, stopping him in his tracks. He gently squeezes my hand and offers me a grateful smile as a way to say thank you. I look away from Toolshed to see how much farther we would need to walk, only to find that we are at the gates of Dark Meadows. I jump back in shock to see we already arrived.

(Holy shit! I was so caught up in the drama of his back story that I didn't notice we already got here! That must've been some speed walk!) I hear Toolshed softly chuckle as he walks towards the entrance gate. He quickly looks around before motioning me over.

"Looks like the security guard is off duty," Toolshed declares, "That's great for us, since he always tries to keep the riff raff out. He's been letting me in since he knows me as one of Tupperware's friends, but he would not be so welcoming to you after you disgraced him last time."

(Token's superhero persona is called Tupperware? I wonder what kind of powers Tupperware offers.) Toolshed unhitches the latch on the metal gate, pushes the door open, and re-latches the lock when I step through into the Black's front yard. We walk along the driveway and cross over to the front door. I watch Toolshed knock three times on the dark brown door and within a few seconds, Mrs. Black answers.

"Oh, hello Stan," Mrs. Black beams, "Back from patrol I see. The boys are downstairs playing."

"Thank you, Mrs. Black," Toolshed replies, "I hope you don't mind but I invited the new kid to join us." I give Mrs. Black a friendly smile and casually wave my hand.

"It's no problem Stan," Mrs. Black says, "You two have fun." She turns on her heels and walks into the kitchen. We wipe our feet on the welcome mat and enter the house.

(Man, this house is awesome! I think this is the first time I've been inside Token's house.) I shake off my amazement and follow Toolshed to the basement door. I gaze up at the Freedom Pals logo, an eagle, on the door. I watch Toolshed tap some sort of code into an electronic padlock and then grasp the door handle.

"Let me go in first dude," Toolshed gently demands, "I'll butter them up for you." Toolshed opens the basement door and begins to ascend down the stairs. I wait for Toolshed to be about 5 steps ahead of me before I start to step down myself. I stop after 4 steps, lean against the handrail, and wait for Toolshed to send me in. I hear a deep, slightly raspy voice greet Toolshed. I guess that must be Mysterion from Toolshed's communicator.

"There you are Toolshed," I hear Mysterion greet, "Did you find any leads?"

"Sorry guys, I didn't find any news about the crime syndicate," Toolshed sighs, "I did receive a mission from my dad. Someone's been keying my mom's car at night and been leaving threatening notes."

"Hey, maybe the guy who's keying the car is part of a gang or something," I hear a high pitch voice imply.

(Wait. Isn't that Tweek's voice? His voice sure has gotten more confident ever since he and Craig got together.)

"I appreciate the optimism Wonder Tweek," I hear Mysterion reply, "but I don't think keying a car can level up to the crimes of smuggling drugs and robberies."

"At least we have something one of us can do tonight," I hear a voice with an echoed sound declare, "But if we don't find a lead or more missions soon, by my calculations, Coon and Friends will get ahead of us for good."

(That must be Token. It wouldn't surprise me that Cartman would take the easy route to get ahead.)

"Well, I think I found someone who can even the playing field," Toolshed beams, "Come on down dude." I shift of the railing and continue down the stairs. As I turn to descend the final three steps, I see three other members of Freedom Pals.

I can see that Token's superhero persona, Tupperware, lives up to his name. His body is completely armored with Tupperware parts, complete with a small utility belt and a pair of light gray surgical gloves.

As for Tweek, or should I say Wonder Tweek, I see that he sports a deep blue shirt with the red initials WT, navy-blue slacks, and brown gloves. I also notice a head band, the same color as his shirt, with his superhero name printed on it.

The final hero must be Mysterion, and I must say, he has quite the iconic superhero image. His costume consists of a light purple shirt with a bright green M, light purple pants, a dark purple cloak with a bright green question mark on a spring on the top, a pair of olive green gloves, a black belt and mask, and a pair of brown combat boots. Heck, he even has a pair of underwear on the outside of the pants. The only problem is that I can't tell which on my friends this guy is at first glance. He almost completely covers his face and his voice is disguised. I slightly squint to try to focus on any feature that can give me a clue on who he is. My eyes finally fall on his eyes. I defiantly know those firm, yet gentle eyes.

(Hold on. … Holy shit! It's Kenny! Man, I'm used to seeing him as loving and joyful, not like a mini Batman.) I shake off my shock and try to act casual. I offer a friendly smile and wave.

"I think Douchebag would be a great addition to our team, what do you guys think," Toolshed offers. The three of them exchange glances before turning back to me and Toolshed.

"Toolshed," Mysterion sighs, "are you sure this is a good idea? Don't get me wrong, Douchebag is a great fighter, and a great friend, but wasn't he just playing with Cartman and the others? There are photos of him with them on Coonstagram."

"They were playing Fighters of Zaron," Toolshed reveals, "but they kicked the new kid out when they switched to superheroes."

"Coon and Friends have tried to trick us before," Tupperware growls, "They could be using the new kid to keep us at bay."

"Well, what do we do," Wonder Tweek asks, "Can we trust him or not?" I can't help but feel ice begin to chill my heart to hear their hesitation to let me in, but I guess it's not without reason. I did switch sides in our last game.

[I believe I can reveal the truth to this predicament.]

(Huh? Who said that? That voice sounded like my conscious, or something in that sense.) I see a curtain with space themed images separate. A shadowy figure emerges with the sound of slightly squeaky wheels following it. I then remember that Toolshed mentioned Doctor Timothy when we were still at his house.

(The voice must've come from Timmy. … Wait, since when can Timmy talk in full sentences? And what's up with the gentleman tone of voice?) I hear the sound of a curtain being pulled to the side and, sure enough, a curtain with space themed images opens. I hear the sound of slightly squeaky wheels moving and I see a shadowy figure emerge from behind the curtain. As the figure comes into the light, I can definitely see that it's Timmy, wheelchair and all.

(Wow, Timmy is one sharp dressed man.) He's dressed in a navy-blue jacket covering a white dress shirt and red tie. He also has a red and black checkered blanked draped across his lap. He wheels himself to the center of the room and places his right index finger on his right temple.

[Hello my friend, it is good to see you.] I jump back in total shock.

(Woah, how did I hear that!? He didn't even move his lips!)

"Doctor Timothy is a Psychic," Toolshed whispers, "he has the ability to read minds and temporarily bend reality."

(Sweet mother of all that's holy! He can really do that?!)

[Please forgive us for our skepticism new kid. Our franchise war with Coon and Friends has us on edge.]

"Doc," Mysterion urges, "we don't mean to come off as bitter, but we can't be too careful when it comes to Cartman and anything related to him. I'm afraid this includes the new kid."

[I know Mysterion, but I believe the new kid deserves the benefit of doubt. After all, giving him a chance is what our creed stands for.]

"Of course, Doc," Mysterion sighs, "Retribution but with Inclusion."

(Retribution but with Inclusion? That's some motto.) Doctor Timothy suddenly moves closer to me.

[New kid, if you will permit me, I wish to see your actions from this morning to when you first arrived.]

(You want to read my mind?! … Well, if it will prove that I'm not with Cartman.) I slowly nod my head to let Timmy know he can go ahead. He gives me a gentle smile.

[You may feel a little woozy at first new kid, but let me know if it becomes too much for you.] Doctor Timothy squints and places his right index finger back on his right template. I suddenly feel a slight wave of dizziness take over me. I hold my head as I try to steady myself. Everything goes black for a few seconds. I can't hear anything. I suddenly see a collection of images appear, images I recognize.

[Welcome to your memories new kid.]

(Timmy?! … Wait, are we able to talk to each other in here?)

[Indeed … my dear.]

(My dear?! Why would you … you can hear my real voice, can't you?)

[Yes, every thought you make is heard in here. In your real voice.]

(…)

[New kid, why did you make us believe you were a boy?]

(… My parents. As long as I could remember, they forced me to identify as a boy. I don't really know why, but I always had this nagging feeling that my parents wish I was born a boy.) An image of when I was six appears in from of us. I'm standing outside my parent's bedroom, my ear pressed against the door. This was the third house we lived in that year. I hear the argument that made me feel like my parents wanted a boy.

"We're making her feel confused Chris," my mother screams.

"It's for her own good Kelly," my father yells back, "You know damn well why her pretending to be a boy is what's best for us!"

"Best for us, or best for you," my mother growls.

"You know what," my father snarls, "if she was just born a boy and not an emotional girl like you, we wouldn't have to live on the run!"

"And who's fault is that Chris," I hear my mother sneer. The memory stops and moves into the back ground with my other memories.

[My God, I never would have thought … I'm so sorry new kid.]

(My family issues are not your fault Doc. I am sorry I lied to you guys about my gender, but I've been doing this for years. … Can we get back to …)

[… Of course, my friend. Now please think back to this morning.] Images of this morning begin to play in front of us. I see everything from me sitting on my royal throne, my parents having their suddenly more common argument over my friendships, slaying the dragon, Cartman revealing the Scrambles poster, me being kicked out because my dad fucked my mom, and finally to when Toolshed freed me from Cartman's living room.

[I'm sorry I doubted you new kid. It would give me great honor to have you as the newest member of Freedom Pals.]

(You don't have to offer twice!)

[Excellent! It will be great to work with you again. We are starting to fall into turmoil.]

(Hey, I remember Tupperware mentioning that you need more missions and leads. Before Cartman kicked me out, I got a good look at the poster ha had. Here, take a look.) An image of Cartman holding the Scrambles poster approaches us. Timmy looks at the poster for a few seconds. He turns back to me with a grateful grin on his face.

[New kid, you're amazing. This could be the lead we have been looking for to track down the crime syndicate!]

(… Sally. My name is Sally.)

[Heh, well then Sally, I believe it's time I introduced our newest member to the team. And I believe you should know how we came to be the Freedom Pals. … Oh, and your secret is safe with me.] Some bright light envelopes my line of sight. When the light dies out from my eyelids, I slowly open my eyes. I see Timmy smile warmly at me.

[The new kid is not with Cartman. I am ready to allow him into Freedom Pals. I trust there are no objections?] I look around the room and I notice Mysterion, Tupperware, and Wonder Tweek exchanging glances. Toolshed is already beaming; he was ready for me to join for a while now. After a few seconds of silence, they all turn to me with approving smiles on their faces.

(Looks like I passed initiation.)


	3. Chapter 3

The Fractured but Whole: Freedom Pals Unite!

Chapter 3: Pick a class, any class

I watch Doctor Timothy back up his wheelchair to the center of the room as my new teammates line up on both sides of him. Mysterion and Toolshed stand on his right side while Tupperware and Wonder Tweek stand on his left.

(Maybe my initiation isn't over yet.)

[New kid, before you can go out into the field, we will need to brief you on our origins.]

(Oh right, Timmy told me he was going to tell me about their start.) I nod my head to let them know to start their story.

[Toolshed has probably mentioned this to you before, but we were all once members of another superhero franchise called Coon and Friends. Our leader was, of course, The Coon and there were ten members in total. I was in the process of developing movies, television shows, video games, and other programs for everyone to earn large sums of money for the team. However, my ideas were tossed aside by The Coon and replaced with his own. We split off to form Freedom Pals once we saw his biased franchise plan.]

"The Coon's franchise plan screwed each of us over," Toolshed exclaims, "While we had at most one program each, everyone who stayed with Coon and Friends had around five or even more programs for themselves!"

"We treat each other as equals here," Mysterion softly growls, "but The Coon only looks out for himself. He built us into a pyramid and put himself on top!"

"Our franchise was doing great at first," Tupperware adds, "We had one hundred followers on our Coonstagram page. By my calculations, we would have doubled in fans in a few hours, but The Coon started stealing credit for our heroic deeds and swindled us out of our past leads on the crime syndicate."

"To make matters worse," Wonder Tweek growls, "his teammates are starting to stoop to his level and stealing our missions. Kyle, Jimmy, Clyde, … even my ex-boyfriend." I jump back at the last few words.

(Woah, Wait! You and Craig broke up?!)

[As you can see, the split resulted in bad feelings and nearly broken relationships, but we believe we made the right choice in splitting off. And with you now on our side my friend and the lead you provided us, the tide may finally change back to our favor.]

"What new lead Doc," Tupperware questions.

[While looking through the New Kid's memories, he informed me of a poster The Coon had in his possession. The poster detailed a $100 reward for the return of the cat Scrambles.]

"Wait, I've heard that name being passed around by the top six graders on my patrols," Mysterion declares, "Doc, do you think…"

[Indeed, I do. I believe that this Scrambles is the epicenter of the current crime wave. The police have been bringing in many stray cats these past few weeks, and from Mysterion's investigations on the current activities of the citizens, I believe we may be dealing with the drug craze of 'cheesing'.] I notice Mysterion flinch when Doctor Timothy said the word 'cheesing'. I remember Kenny telling me about that 'boob-utopia' when I found a cat sling in his closet when we were hanging out one time with Stan, Kyle, Butters, and, sadly, Cartman. He said he gave up 'cheesing' long before I moved here, so I guess the mention of it would remind him of his rehab.

"You mean the crime wave is all about getting cat cheese," Tweek shrieks.

[I know it sounds farfetched, but it would explain why the adults in our town have gone from the usual crazy to near insanity. It would also explain why the police would collect all these stray cats. I believe that someone is trying to take over our town by drugging the adults with cat urine. And Scrambles must be the bottom bitch of the whole operation. If we can secure this cat, we may be able to track down the crime boss.]

"Coon and Friends will be looking for this cat to," Toolshed replies, "but I'm willing to bet that The Coon is only interested in the cash reward."

(Since Cartman stole your leads before, I think it's only fair we steal this one right under his nose … or is it whiskers?)

[I will research more about Scrambles. In the meantime, you all try to find more missions or any more leads. Tupperware, please assist our rookie with choosing a superhero class and explain the basics of the powers and combat before you depart. New Kid, once you have selected a class, come and see me for your final debriefing. I will be waiting for you in my chamber.] Doctor Timothy guides his wheelchair back to the back chamber while Wonder Tweek and Mysterion pull the space curtains apart to let him in. I feel hand clasp my shoulder. I turn my head to see Toolshed grinning from ear to ear. I can't help but grin back.

"Told you you'd get in," Toolshed playfully jabs, "I'll call you if I find a mission. I'll see you later dude." He gives me a quick thumbs-up before trudging up the stairs. Wonder Tweek waves at me before following Toolshed. I wave back before turning my head to Mysterion. He gives me a wink before trudging up the stairs.

(This is it Sally. You're now a Freedom Pal.) I turn my attention to the base; I never got to really look at it when Toolshed first brought me. Everything is decorated with cardboard boxes, a city backdrop, LED lights, stars and planets, and what look like to be my teammates' superhero gear.

(It must have taken the guys hours or even a whole day to decorate this place! Maybe they'll let me add some of my superhero stuff… if I get any.)

"Hey dude, you coming or what," Tupperware calls. I snap out of my thoughts and head towards him. He leads me into a makeshift room with walls made of cardboard boxes and yellow masking tape forming a grid on the floor and walls.

"This is our training room," Tupperware says, "We use virtual reality to test our powers and prepare for any disasters, crimes, or anything that could go wrong in our quiet mountain town." I raise an eyebrow and cock my head in confusion.

(What virtual reality? There's nothing here but tape and boxes.) I hear Tupperware give a soft chuckle as he turns towards an I-pad. He types in a code and everything suddenly goes dark. The masking tape glows a cyan blue while the walls glow a navy blue. My eyes widen as I stare around the transformed room.

(I never knew boxes and tape could do this!) Tupperware removes the I-pad from its stand and turns to face me.

"Ok New Kid," he declares, "I've selected three beginner classes for you to choose from. You can choose from Speedster, Brutalist, or Blaster. Each class has different levels of brawn, brains, spunk, health, and movement. Brawn increases the damage done by melee attacks, brains increase the damage done by ranged, mental, and magic attacks, spunk increases the effects of support abilities like healing and shielding, health, of course, affects how large your maximum health is, and movement increases how many spaces you can move on the battle grid. Our training program will create a set of powers for you based on which class you choose. Here, pick the one you like the best." He hands me the tablet. I look at the pictures of the superheroes with their specific class. I tap each picture to see their affects. Speedster and Brutalist are nearly the same; they mostly have brawn affects with one spunk affect. I then look over at the third class, Blaster. I look over its four attacks in awe.

(Great range, burn affects, and a sweet costume to boot! I think I found my class.) I press the button for select class and return the I-pad to Tupperware.

"A blaster huh," he remarks, "By my calculations, you made an excellent choice. Now, let's get you suited up." He opens us his hands and points them towards me. A pixelated blue light rises from the ground around me. My clothes begin to change as the ring of light rises around me. My black sneakers turn white, my blue jeans turn navy blue, my cape disappears and my blue t-shirt turns black with yellow and orange flame prints and wings, my crown transforms into a helmet with glow sticks and eye-goggles attached. I also gain black gloves with ketchup and mustard bottles taped on them. The ring of light disappears as I look at my new costume. As I look down, my helmet slides over my eyes. I softly grunt as I push it back on top of my head.

"Heh, don't worry about the helmet dude," Tupperware chuckles, "You can ditch it after you practice your moves." He types something into the tablet and another pixelated ring of blue light appears around my head. I feel my brain slightly vibrate before the ring expands the entire room. The room begins to glow a very light blue that nearly blinds me. When my sight returns, I see the hallway of the house I once lived in when I was six. I give Tupperware a shocked and confused look.

"We use our memories of certain places and events for the virtual reality training," Tupperware explains, "Guess I forgot to mention it. The program chooses the memory, not me. … At least not until I get the Danger Deck program up and running. It's an extreme combat program with special challenges."

(That sounds sweet!) I then see three figures begin to pixelate into the room. I slightly squint my eyes to make out their features. As the images begin to take shape, I feel my eyes widen and my blood begin to chill.

(… Oh no! Not them! Anything but them!) The three figures take shape and reveal themselves as the three thugs that once broke into my house when I was six. The faces of the large men were burned into my memory since that day. I couldn't sleep so well that night. I slid out of my bed and walked to the large mirror on my wall. I just … stared at myself, wondering if it was because of me that we were constantly moving, why my parents were strict on when I could go outside and play, why they started fighting over me. I suddenly heard my mom scream from my parents' bedroom. I jumped at the noise and ran to my door to see what was happening. As I stepped into the hallway, I saw the three thugs climb into our house through the bathroom mirror. The look the biggest one gave me when he saw me chilled me to the bone. I always thought they were child molesters or murderous thieves. I was able to scare them away by turning on my toy police car's siren after barricading myself in my room. After I saw that they were gone, I ran to my parents' room. How they didn't hear my toy going off at whole blast I will never know. What I saw once I opened my parents' door haunted my fragile six-year-old mind. Mixed with the scent of wine and what I now know as burned pot, I saw my dad fuck my mom.

"Douchebag," Tupperware yells, "Dude, are you ok? Snap out of it!" I feel my body being shook back and forth. I shake my head as the memory of that night vanishes back to the darkest depths of my mind. I thought that living in South Park and dealing with its daily shit for as long as I have would have scarred me worse than that night but looks like I was wrong. I've even fought an underpants gnome on my parents' bed while they were having sex, and still that memory haunts me more! I look down at my shaking hands and then up at Tupperware, who was holding my shoulders. He looks at the thugs and then back to me.

"… I detect great levels of fear and trauma emitting from you," Tupperware sighs, "These thugs must've done something horrible to you."

(He's trying to stay in character while trying to comfort me. … I have to admire his dedication to this game.) I take a deep breath and gently place my hands on his own. I give him a weak smile to let him know that I was going to be ok. I stop and think about what I've been doing since Toolshed freed me from Cartman's living room.

(… I've never been this open with anyone before, not even my own parents. In just the last game, I was emotionless and did whatever the guys asked of me, now I'm … smiling and having sentimental inner monologues. … I like this. You guys brought me out of my shell.) I give Tupperware a warmer smile as he lets go of my shoulders.

"I don't know what these guys did to you, but maybe beating the living shit out of these holograms will make you feel better," he offers. I can't help but smirk at his reply. The next thing I know, he programs a special simulation to test my Blaster powers. The larger thug disappears and the two smaller ones are left.

"Alright New Kid," Tupperware instructs, "your first attack is called Triple Burn. You can create three fireballs to throw at an enemy at least three squares ahead of you. It also gives them a burning affect that lasts for three turns. Try it out on the thug with the baseball cap." I suddenly feel a warm sensation in my veins traveling through my arms into my hands, as if my blood had turned into fire. I focus on the first thug and charge my first attack. I feel the fire burning inside of my palms. The fire burns hotter and hotter. I see the first fireball form in my right hand as I pull my hand back. I launch the three fireballs at the thug alternating hands, starting with my right. I watch my foe knock back with each blow and I see flames emerge on his body. My attack drains 18 points of health from him.

"Awesome job New Kid," Tupperware compliments, "Now get ready, it's the holograms' turns to attack."

"Shit, this little flamer means business," the first thug growls.

"Didn't your mom tell you not to play with fire," the second thug behind the first one snarls. The second hologram moves in and swings his crowbar like a baseball bat against my face. I feel a sharp stinging and throbbing sensation on my left cheek as I lose 10 health points.

(AHHH SHIT THAT HURTS!) I've been used to receiving blows like this in our last game and have learned to keep a mostly straight face when I received the attacks, but that doesn't stop me from feeling the full affects of the attack. I'll most likely develop a bruise after this. I fight the urge to rub my cheek as I glare at the holograms.

"You left us no choice, kid," the first thug hisses. He moves in, next to the second hologram's right side. Once he ends his move, a large flame burns his legs and groin, causing 10 points of damage.

(Karma's a bitch, isn't it … even though I don't believe in karma.) I see the third thug come in from the bathroom, looking at me as if he's ready to rip me to pieces. He stops two spaces behind the second thug.

"Ok New Kid," Tupperware instructs, "It's now your turn to attack. Try using your second attack, the Heat Wave. It pushes back at least three enemies in a vertical line in front of you. It can also give your enemies knockback damage if they hit an object, another enemy, or if they are pushed back by one of your allies." I feel a power surge build up in my left hand. I pull my left arm back as the energy grows and collects into my hand. Once I feel the energy build up to its maximum, I whip my hand towards the thugs and three waves of energy push them back, making both of them lose 16 health points. Tupperware wasn't kidding about the knockback damage because the second thug is thrown into the third thug, leaching 16 health points from each of them.

"Excellent," Tupperware compliments, "You're doing great Douchebag."

"Hey you can't push us around like that," the second thug fumes. He advances and strikes me again with the same attack he did before. I am once again greeted by the bitch slap of a crowbar.

(AHHH TUFF TITTY WHOMPUS!) I watch as the third thug moves in behind the second thug, followed by the third thug moving behind the third thug and receiving another burn affect.

"It's time for your third attack New Kid," Tupperware informs, "Its called the Plasma Beam. It allows you hit a row of enemies in the six spaces in front of you." I feel another power surge build up in my chest. I position my hands into a makeshift triangle around my heart as I prepare to release the energy beam. I continue to charge my attack as a growing ball of pure energy appears between my hands. Once the ball is large enough, I push my hands out towards the thugs, directing the beam straight through them. I watch as the first thug falls dead on the ground.

"So much … range…" he gasps as he disappears from the grid. I expected the second thug to attack me like before, but when his turn comes he just moves to my far right.

"I'll just get out of the way…," he murmurs. I turn my attention to the third thug and my blood turns to ice. If looks could kill, I would be six feet under right now. His teeth are bared, his fists are clenched and shaking, and his eyes look as if they were on fire. He moves in on me and just plain wails on me with an onslaught of punches followed by a kick that knocks me back, dealing me 20 damage points. I grimace as I try not to fall on my ass.

(Fucking… Dammit.)

"Not so hot now, ya little flamer," he taunts.

"Yeah, we showed him," the second thug stammers. As I recover my balance, I feel something pulse in my gut. I don't think it's the same thing as my power surges for my regular attacks. I look over to Tupperware, only to see him with a pleased smirk.

"You've filled up your Ultimate Attack meter," Tupperware informs, "You build it up when you correctly perform attacks or receive damage while recovering from it. It empowers you with a special attack that deals great deals of damage to your foes or aids you and your allies in battle. Your Ultimate Attack is called Backfire Blast; it deals a great amount of damage and leaves both burning and gross out affects to all your targets. Use it to finish off these scrotum bags!"

I nod and smirk in reply as I activate my final attack. I create a fireball and swallow it. My eyes turn to flames as I feel the power and heat build up and travel down through my gut. The fire continues to burst through my intestines, heading for my anus. I turn around to aim the blast at the remaining thugs. As the fire warms my anal walls, I push the fire out, unleashing a powerful fart that finishes off the final two thugs. I turn around as they disappear from the grid.

"Training simulation complete," Tupperware announces. I watch as the room pixelates back into the boxes and tape. I quietly let out a sigh of relief as I remove the bulky helmet and wipe the beads of sweat off my forehead.

"Nice job New Kid," Tupperware congratulates, "You're now ready to head out into the field. Just so you know, you can come see me if you want to change classes. I'll let Doctor Timothy know we're finished." He walks out of the training room and heads towards Doctor Timothy's room. I walk into the center of our base, waiting for the Doc to let me in. I place the helmet on the floor next to the costume rack. I can hear the hushed voices of Doctor Timothy and Tupperware behind the curtain, but I can't make out what they're saying. The voices die out and Tupperware emerges from the curtain.

"He's ready for you man," he says, "I'm heading out. I'll see you later." He offers me a fist bump, which I gladly return, before he trudges up the stairs. I walk over to Doctor Timothy's quarters and pull back the curtain. I step into the room and move the curtain back in place. It looks just like the training room but smaller. I notice a sheet spread out across the back wall, as if it was hiding something. I stare at it for a few seconds before turning back to Timmy. I will ask him about it later. I stand directly in front of Doctor Timothy, waiting to be let out into the field.

[Tupperware has informed me of your class and training results. … He also informed me about your … episode in the training room. Are you sure you're alright?] As if on instinct, my eyes drop to the floor. I swallow hard, trying to keep myself form freezing up again. I force myself to stare at the Doc again. He gives me a look of concern.

[Sally… if you need to talk about it, don't hesitate to talk to me. You are a member of my team, and I want you to feel that you can trust your leader. I'm very good at keeping secrets. All I can say outside of telepathy is my own name after all.] I can't help but giggle at that last part. I think it over for a while.

(I know that I can't straight out talk. I don't know what will happen to Doctor Timothy if he hears my voice outside of my head. I got lucky last time at Stark's Pond.) I know from the government agents that tried to bomb and nuke the town that I have the ability to make hundreds of friends on any social media with a single post. I can also make people believe what I believe when I write something along with the post, such as when I showed support for Butter's "Wieners Out" movement. For obvious reasons, I couldn't pull down my pants and underwear to join the march, but I had to do something so they would still think I was a boy. Instead I posted a pic of Butter's sign and wrote "Support our brothers in this time of crisis. Join the sausage party! #Wieners Out!" Overnight, over half of the entire fourth grade boys had joined the movement after seeing my post. I don't know what would happen if I spoke out directly.

Before moving to South Park, my parents forced me to stay away from most social events and stay silent when we went out or when I went to school. I've been silent for years; the earliest I remember talking was when I said, "Screw you guys, I'm going home," to Stan, Kyle, and Cartman after getting rid of the Stick of Truth. I had to deepen my voice to sound like a boy's. I haven't directly spoken to my parents for years. My mom is able to understand me alright, but my dad gets pretty angry when I don't talk to him. What did he expect? I have been taught not to talk to anyone, which includes them. I mean I love my dad to pieces, but he doesn't need to scold me for doing what he taught me.

[Sally? Please talk to me.]

I shake my head to turn my attention back to Doctor Timothy. I really let my mind wander. I give Timothy a look of worry. I tap my head to let him know that I want to talk in my mind. He stares at me for a few seconds before nodding and starting the link. I don't feel dizzy this time, luckily. When the link is finished, I approach Timmy.

(Timmy, you know that I gain thousands of followers on my social media in just one day, and that the government wants me because of it, right?)

[… Yes. What of it?]

(And you remember how I helped Butters gain support for "Wieners Out" by posting about it, right?)

[… Sally, what are you saying?]

(… I can manipulate people through social media. Who's to say I can't manipulate people period? I make friends by just walking up to strangers. I make people take my side with a few texts. Imagine what could happen if I actually talked. I could make anyone do whatever I wanted. The people here in this mountain town already take things too seriously; I could bring worse things than the potential bombing those government agents almost did because of me! … As much as I would love to test this on a few choice people, I thinks it's too big of a risk.)

[… What does this have to do with what happened in the training room? I did not ask for why you stay silent. I wanted to give you closure, not be an audience to your noble speech.]

(… I think I've been spending a little too much time with Kyle. I've never been that preachy. Sorry about that. The reason I froze is because those thugs broke into my old house when I was six. I scared them off with one of my toys, but my parents didn't come out of their room. When I went to check on them I …)

[Sally? What happened, what did you see?]

(… I saw my dad … fuck my mom.)

[… You watched your parents have sex?]

(I don't know why it haunts me. Compared to the shit we've dealt with here, it should be nothing. But no matter what I do, I still shut down when I remember that day.)

[I suppose seeing your parents penetrate each other at that age would cause some trauma. But I agree, living in South Park for just one day would scare anyone for life.]

(Yeah … As much as I would love to continue this therapy session, I think I would like to go out into the field now. I think punching people I don't like soothe my nerves.)

[Heh, you're right. I've kept you here a bit too long. But if you ever need to talk about what happened, don't hesitate to see me.]

(Thanks Doc. … Wait, an I controlling you right now?)

[I don't think so. I am immune to some forms of manipulation, since I am a physic. And I didn't agree with you when you explained why you don't talk. I suppose your powers only affect others when you perform them physically such as posting. You won't have to worry about this in here.]

(Well that's good. Let's finish my initiation.) Everything goes white again. I flutter my eyes open when the light dims again. I look to Doctor Timothy, waiting for his approval to move into the field.

[Alright then Sally, our goal is not only to help the people of South Park, it is to make billions of dollars for our franchise plan. In order to do that, we need to gain as many followers as we can on our Coonstagram page. If you are willing, I would like for you to earn as many followers as you can for our cause. I know what you're thinking, but we're not going to let the government track you down again. All you have to do is take selfies with as many people as you can. Whenever you post something on Coonstagram, I will manipulate the image by slightly bending the reality around it. That way we will great a multitude of followers for our franchise and the government won't come after you, no matter how many posts you make. Here, take one with me and I'll show you.] I suddenly hear my new phone ping. I unlock my screen and see an app button.

(How did … He can manipulate reality, why not use it to give me free apps?)

[All the photos you take will be added to your profile and be linked to our page. Try it out.] I move in closer to Timmy as I open up the camera and set it to selfie mode. I hold out my phone to catch both of us in the frame. I put on a smile and click the button, taking a selfie of both me and Timmy smiling. I then here a "woohoo" come from my phone.

[That means that the person you took a selfie with is now following you. They can now post messages and photos onto your page, which will also help keep the government from tracking you down. Some people will be willing to selfie with you right off the bat, but you may need to complete a mission or do them a favor before they will take a selfie with you. Now before you go out, I will give you a quick crash course in the other apps you will need for your missions.] I hear my phone ping again and I notice seven new apps.

[The map shows you where in South Park you are and where emergencies or missions can be found. It also keeps track of how many missions or tasks you have on hand. The costumes app allows you to change into different outfits. Don't worry, they don't affect your fighting ability. The powers app allows you to mix and match powers you earn. It won't really come into use until you gain another class. You can have up to four classes at one time. The allies app allows you to change between team members to fight beside with. Of course, you will need to go on missions or help them out before they can join you in battle. The character sheet shows your status, powers, kryptonite, religion, friends and allies, sexuality, gender, and other attributes to your character. I'll make sure that only you can see your sheet, so the rest of the team won't know that you are a girl if you put it on there. The crafting app allows you to make new costumes, artifacts, and consumables to help raise your might and give you an edge in battle. The items app shows what mission items you have or have gotten and what consumables you have earned. All of these new apps will help you identify as your own hero and will help you protect our town and make a great deal of money. I just have one more thing for you before you go.] He wheels over to a box and takes something out of it. He rolls back to me and hands me a blue notebook with a mechanical pencil attached to the spiral holder. I stare at the notebook in confusion.

[This is for you to be able to communicate with us. Communication is key to a successful team after all. I believe that this will allow you to connect with the team better. I don't know if your powers will work in written form, so be careful with what you write. I must get back to my work now. You're all set to go Sally, make us proud.] I look at the notebook again and open it to the first page. I quickly write something down on it before turning it over for Timmy to see.

{Retribution but with inclusion.} We give each other a salute before I secure my notebook onto my belt, leave his chamber, and rush up the stairs and out of Tupperware's house. I stop just as my feet hit the snow, making a subtle crunching sound. I breathe in the fresh mountain air and gaze into the horizon.

(Get ready South Park, your newest hero is on the scene!) I open my map app to find my first mission as the newest member of Freedom Pals.

Author's note:

Holy Shit! I finally finished after months of writing and planning. Thank you all for supporting the story so far. Sorry if I hadn't updated in a while. I blame writer's block and school work. I write the story as I go. I'll try to finish chapter 4 as soon as I can.

A few notes on my story. I know that there are already characters named Sally in the show, such as Sally Turner and Sally Darson. I was originally going to name my New Kid Roxanne, or Roxy for short, but I just thought that Sally worked better for her. I also want to make a few notes on the dialogue.

(…) is Sally's inner dialogue

{…} is Sally's written dialogue

[…] is Doctor Timothy's dialogue

I decided to give Sally a notepad to write down her thoughts for a few laughs.

I was originally going to have Mysterion train Sally, but I decided that Tupperware was a better match since he controls the Danger Deck DLC.

The phrase "Tuff Titty Whompus" is from Final Space, an adult cartoon created by Olan Rogers. It's an awesome show and I highly recommend watching it. It's on TBS and on Demand.

I want to give thanks to .one and . for giving me information about the status affects of the game. I also want to give thanks to Just Call Me Buttlord on Fanfiction for giving me the idea that the New Kid doesn't talk because of her fear of controlling people with it. I highly recommend reading her stories.

For those who like my Sonic Transformers story, I would like to continue it, but I think I will have to scrap the beginning and so a new one. I don't think Optimus knowing Sonic's father before hand is a good idea anymore.

Thank you all again for your follows and favorites. I will try and finish the future chapters quicker.


	4. Chapter 4

The Fractured but Whole: Freedom Pals Unite!

Chapter 4: Side Mission: For Nippopolis!

I look at the lower right corner of the map and see a destination point. It's from Mysterion, at his house!

(What's going on with Mysterion? … Only one way to find out. Time for my first mission!) I lock my screen and place my phone into my pocket. I trudge across the Black's front yard and out of the side gate. I turn to my left to walk over to Kenny's when I notice a navy-blue flag with a yellow oval in the center and a T in the center of the oval. I recognized it as the symbol of Tupperware's belt buckle on his utility belt.

(Tupperware must've made this. But what is it?) I walk over to the flag pole to get a closer look. There is a panel taped to the front of the pole with a hand-shaped carving in it. I can't help but place my right hand in the imprint. I feel my hand slightly vibrate and I see the flag rise up to the top of the pole. I hear my phone ping again. I pull it out of my pocket and unlock my screen.

(It's a text message from Tupperware.) I open my Coonstagram app and read the message.

"Hey New Kid," it reads, "you found one of my Tupperware Transporters. I just finished putting them in all over town. You can use them to teleport to any of the transport stations you find once you link up to them. BTW, we also have a communicator for you. We forgot to give it to you before we left. We can call you if we need you or if a new mission is in your area. Enjoy." I suddenly see a ring of light blue light envelope my right wrist. I feel my wrist slightly tighten once the light disappears. A black watch is now around my wrist.

(More free stuff? … I love these guys!) I lock my phone and put it back in my pocket as I head down the side walk to the movie theater. As I turn at the street's corner, I notice a red pile on the sidewalk ahead.

(Oh, don't tell me!) I stop just ahead of the red mound and feel heat waves wash across my face.

(LAVA?! WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE LAVA?!) I then hear my communicator turn on and watch as it projects a holographic screen ahead of me. I look into the screen to see Doctor Timothy on the other end.

[New Kid! I have been receiving reports from our team that piles of lava have been mysteriously placed all over the town, restricting access to certain buildings and walkways! Toolshed does have the power to clear lava with his sandblaster, but he can't use it without lugging around a large generator. This is nothing but chaos! … Wait a minute!] I suddenly see a second screen emerge next to Doctor Timothy's. I see a boy with light blonde hair, a helmet made out of what looks like tin foil with a small red and orange circle where his forehead would be, gloves that also look like tin foil, and a turquoise shirt appear on the second screen. He laughs in villainous triumph.

"MYAH HA HA HAAAAA! TAKE THAT, FREEDOM PALS!"

(BUTTERS?!)

[Professor Chaos! I should've known you were behind this!]

"THAT'S RIGHT, DOCTOR," Butters … err Professor Chaos gloats, "I have strategically placed lava throughout the town. I can't make it too easy for you. What good is the world without a little … CHAOS? HA HA HAAAA! Ok, turn it off now." The screen disappears from my communicator, leaving only Doctor Timothy's.

(Oh yeah, I almost forgot that Butters had an alter ego named Professor Chaos.) During the Stick of Truth game, I stumbled upon Professor Chaos' lair. He was trying to end all of humanity by burning as much energy as he could by leaving the lights in his lair on forever. He also turned into Professor Chaos for one of his attacks. I always thought that the fact that Butters had an evil alter ego was adorable, since the most "evil" thing he has ever done was leave the lights on. I turn my attention back to Doctor Timothy's screen.

[We'll deal with Professor Chaos later. You'll need to use an alternate route. Head over to the construction site near our base. There's an alley that leads to Main Street. Good luck New kid. Doctor Timothy out.] The screen vanishes from my communicator. I look at the lava pile and let out an annoyed groan. I turn on my heels and head back the way I came. I jog past Tupperware's house and approach the senior center. I notice something on the bench next to a bronze statue of an old man lifting his hat in hello. As I walk closer to it, I see that it's a jar full of member berries.

"Member The Rockford Files?"

"Ohh, I 'member."

"Member Lawrence Welk?"

"Oh, yeah I 'member! Moon River is my favorite!"

(… What the fuck are these things even doing here?) I then realize that debating this is a waste of time, so I turn away from the mutant grapes and continue on to the construction site. They're still fixing up the South Park mall after I helped crash an alien space ship into it. I thought they would have finished a long time ago, but this is South Park, where you have to deal with idiot adults and constant social and political issues that are blown way out of proportion, so it shouldn't surprise me that the workers would slack off once they heard about the latest tweet from the President or the newest fight between boys and girls at the elementary school.

I notice that I reached the construction site and I see the alley. I look both ways before crossing over, since I was almost hit by a car when I was fighting the dragon. I walk carefully through the alley; the hairs on my neck stand on end. I've been stalked by homeless people and sixth graders around the alleys all over the town before, so I'm usually on guard around here. The scent of piss and smoke invade my nose, nearly making me gag. I notice a white, metal box to my right, slightly opened. I see something shining in there. I can't help my curiosity and slowly open the metal box. Inside, there is a sealed vile containing a yellow liquid. I remember Doctor Timothy suspecting cat urine being used as a drug. This must be a vial of cat piss!

(I'd better hold on to this and any others I find. We don't want any of this on the streets if it is used for drugs.) I carefully place it into my pocket and continue through the alley. I come to the end and unlatch the metal gate across the opening. I walk onto Main Street and turn to my left, heading toward the playground, a short-cut to Kenny's. I pass the D-Mobile store and approach Tom's Rhinoplasty. In between it and a thinner building was another one of Tupperware's teleporters.

(Might as well kill two birds with one stone.) I place my hand in the imprint and link up with the teleporter. I can now teleport from here to outside of Tupperware's house. The flag rises, letting me know that the link is complete. I continue my jog across Main Street, passing the lava-restricted bank guarded by some kid on the roof.

(… Wait, WHAT?!) I stop in front of the bank and look up at the kid. He's decked out with a top hat, a black mask and shirt, and is covered with sheets of tin foil. There is a #35 etched with black marker on his chest.

"Sorry superhero," he taunts, "The bank is closed due to a lava emergency! Soon everyone in South Park will be unable to deposit or checkout money, leaving their accounts untouchable! They will have to reduce to hiding money in their mattresses, easy pickings for thieves! It will be nothing but delicious CHAOS! MYAH HA HA!"

(That's … actually a decent plan. I'll have to let Toolshed know about the bank later.) I leave the strange kid to his hostage of the bank and continue down the sidewalk. I decide to let nothing else stop me until I get to Kenny's house. I speed on past the last line of shops along Main Street and trudge on over to the playground. I walk over the basketball court, pass the "gender appropriate" bathrooms, and pass kids glued to their phones before heading out of the south gate.

I can see the old Soda Sopa buildings as I leave the playground and head to Kenny's house. I felt pretty bad for Kenny and his family during our town's modernization in order to fix our reputation because of Mr. Garrison's performance in the election. They basically got screwed over with the Soda Sopa, and it only got worse when it was abandoned to focus on Historic Shi Tpa Town. Now Kenny has to deal with homeless people camping out near his back yard and other shady characters using the abandoned buildings for God knows what.

I finally cross over the train tracks dividing Kenny's house from the rest of the neighborhood. I see Mysterion leaning against the wall next to his front door. I walk on over to him, but then I hear something crunch under my sneaker. Mysterion whips around and kicks me hard in the gut. I feel all the air escape my lungs as I fall on my back. I feel my head hit the hard ground. That helmet would have really come in handy right now. Colors are spinning around my eyes. I slowly sit myself back up and rub the back of my head, squeezing my eyes shut in pain.

(OWW! Son of a bitch, that hurt!) I slowly open my eyes and look back at Mysterion. At first, he gives me a hard glare, but it quickly melts into a look of shock when he sees that it's me who he kicked.

"Oh my God! Douchebag," he cries as he runs over to me, "Dude, are you ok?" He helps me back on my feet. I stumble a little bit, but that's the worst of what I got. My vision is back to normal and I'm not bleeding anywhere. I give him a soft smile and a gentle nod to let him know I'm ok. He sighs in relief.

"Sorry about that," he apologizes, "I've been on edge these past few days. The crime wave is getting worse and worse, and a lot of crimes have been happening near my house. With this and our rivalry with Coon and Friends, I haven't been able to relax." I pat my hand on his shoulder and give him a warm smile. I suddenly remember the notebook Doctor Timothy gave me to communicate with the guys. It's a good thing I'm a fast writer. I quickly write down what I wanted to say before showing it to Mysterion.

{You've been through a lot of shit before I joined huh?} Mysterion gives me a confused look.

"Where'd you get that?"

{Doctor Timothy. He wanted me to communicate with you guys. Better than just silence right?}

"Heh, yeah it's an improvement alright. … Wait, what are you even doing here?" I pull out my phone and open up the map. I show him the icon saying that he needed help at his location.

"Huh, I guess I forgot to turn off my beacon. We're only supposed to use it if we're in trouble, and I don't think this qualifies as really dangerous."

{What do you mean? What's going on?}

"Listen." I hear a soft sobbing coming from inside his house.

"It's my little sister Karen. I came here to check the old Soda Sopa buildings for thugs when I heard her crying. I can't walk inside because my mom and my brother are in the kitchen."

{Why not?}

"They don't know I'm Mysterion. I've been using my superhero identity to try to force my parents to change their ways. I don't know what they'll do if they find out who I really am. They may be drunk or high in there, which would explain why they aren't checking on her, but I don't want to take any chances."

{Can't we go in through the backyard?}

"We could, but …" He leads me to the junction between the house and the garage. I see another pile of lava blocking the way into the backyard.

(ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! DAMMIT BUTTERS!) I squeeze my fists, trying to avoid screaming in pure anger.

"Yeah, the whole lava situation is pretty annoying, but at least it keeps Professor Chaos from doing something that could really get him into trouble. … The whole scheme is actually kinda cute when you think about it." I just stare at Mysterion after he said that. He stares at the lava with a soft look in his eyes and a gentle smile on his face.

Now that I think about it, he and Butters are really close. They told me about their trip to Hawaii together and how they've been hanging out more with everything that has happened since Mr. Garrison joined the election and surprisingly won the presidency. I also noticed how close they were in our last game. That always seemed to have each other's back in our battles. Butters even said that he had a crush on Princess … Kenny.

(… Wait a minute!) I can't help but feel a cheeky grin creep onto my face as I stare at Mysterion. He looks back at me and is taken back by my grin.

"What?" My grin only widens as I turn to fully face him, crossing my arms and occasionally shifting my eyes to the lava pile. His eyes widen in realization and his cheeks burn a soft pink to what I was thinking.

"Woah dude, there is nothing between me and Butters! We're just friends. Best friends in fact, but that's all there is!" I fight the urge to giggle at his outburst. I really shouldn't torture him with this, even though the idea of him and Butters being a couple was adorable. Kenny is one of my best friends, along with Stan, Kyle, and Butters. I was considered part of their gang after all. I decide to drop the issue and return to helping him get to his sister. I place a hand on his shoulder and pull out my notebook again.

{I believe you. I was just pushing your buttons. So, how are we going to get inside?}

"We can get to the roof through Bi the garage. From there we can climb down into my backyard. Follow me." He leads me over to the abandoned white shop attached to his garage. I don't even remember what this shop was for. I watch Mysterion force open the glass door and before following him inside, avoiding stepping on the broken tiles and knocked over chairs. I follow him up the stairs and up to the balcony. We carefully climb onto the glass railing and pull ourselves onto the curved roof.

"Hail, warrior of Mammaria!" I jump at the sudden sound. I quickly turn around to see who said that.

(Mr. Broflovski?) He's practically naked, except for his kippah and a pair of underwear. As I get closer, I can see that his eyes are spaced out and there is something yellow on his nose. I catch a familiar, disgusting smell and step back. He has cat urine all over his nose! He's cheesing!

"Looks like Doctor Timothy was right about the cat piss," Mysterion whispers. I can't help but hear a little guilt in his voice.

{Are you ok?}

"Yeah, just … old memories about this are coming back," he sighs. I place a comforting hand on his shoulder before being spooked by Mr. Broflovski's outburst again.

"I am the rightful suitor of the Princess of Nippopolis … the greatest warrior to ever grace the Brestriary," he chants. He turns his head over to us and I see his eyes fall onto Mysterion. They narrow in vengeful anger.

"YOU," Mr. Broflovski exclaims. His outburst even causes Mysterion to jump back. We watch as Gerald picks himself up form the ledge. He starts advancing on us, keeping his eyes locked on Mysterion.

"You are the foolish whelp that tried to challenge me for the hand of the Princess," Gerald growls. He bends over and picks up a broken piece of wood from the roof and starts handling it like a sword.

"Mr. Broflovski," Mysterion coaxes while we slowly back away from him, "none of Nippopolis is real! Not the Princess, not the Locknar Trophy, not the amazing boobs! You're just high on cat piss again!"

"LIES," Gerald screams, "You will not steal what is rightfully mine pathetic fools! Come forth and face me! FOR NIPPOPOLIS!" He charges at me and Mysterion, slashing his wooden weapon and knocking us back, dealing 15 damage each. I feel my right foot slip off the edge. I try to lean forward and flail my arms to stop myself from falling off the roof. Luckily Mysterion grabs my left arm and pulls me back onto solid footing. He glares daggers at Mr. Broflovski.

"Dude, I'm not a suitor anymore," Mysterion yells, "I gave up on that a long time ago!" Gerald just let's out a battle cry and gets into a battle stance. I hear Mysterion let out a frustrated groan before turning to me.

"Looks like we'll have to fight him," he declares, "We'll need to be careful of knockback attacks, we don't want us or him to fall off the roof." I give a sharp nod and turn back to Gerald. I notice that it's my turn to attack. I examine Gerald and notice his health bar. It's pretty short, only 100 Hp, probably from the cat urine, so a few good attacks should finish him off quickly. I move forward about three spaces and charge my Triple Burn attack, feeling the heat buildup in my palm. I release the fire balls, hitting Gerald straight on target.

"Luck shot you unworthy clod," Gerald growls. I hear Mysterion chuckle from behind me.

"If you think that's lucky, try Dread Rush on for size," I hear him say. Mysterion crouches down and a purple mist swarms around his body. The next thing I know, Mysterion dives forward and disappears into the mist, hitting Gerald in the process. I see Mysterion re-appear from the mist behind Gerald as he jumps up and kicks him in the back, making him stumble towards me. I quickly push Gerald to deal additional damage. He's almost lost half of his total health.

"Mr. Broflovski snap out of it," Mysterion snarls. Gerald turns to Mysterion with a threatening fire in his eyes.

"The Princess is MINE," he shouts. He charges toward Mysterion and slashes his "sword", knocking Mysterion back. Luckily, Mysterion stops himself about two spaces from the edge. My flames finally kick in and drain more health point from Gerald. I notice Gerald panting and hunching over.

(We've almost got him! Two more attacks ought to do it!) I charge up my Plasma Beam and fire straight into Gerald. He looks even worse now. He has cuts and bruises around his body.

(Sheesh, these powers pack a punch!)

"I … will not … go down … like this," Gerald pants.

"Looks like you'll have too," Mysterion snarls. I watch as Mysterion delivers a jab followed by an uppercut into Gerald's gut. He then jumps and spins to kick Gerald before quickly backflipping to give him another kick. Gerald finally goes down, falling face first into the roof.

(… This was kind of anti-climactic.) I rush over to Mysterion in case Gerald gets back up to challenge us again. Gerald slowly picks himself back up, stumbling around, trying to keep his balance. He eventually falls on his ass in exhaustion.

{Kyle is going to kill us.}

"Nah," I hear Mysterion whisper, "It's more likely that he'll thank us for this. His dad can be kind of a dick. I'd say this is payback for everything he did as SkankHunt 42."

{Fair point.} Gerald screwed over the entire male population in South Park Elementary and nearly caused the end of the world with his online trolling. His quest for laughs nearly allowed everyone's internet history to be completely free to see to anyone who looked it up. I was extremely worried since the government could use Troll Tracer to instantly find me no matter where I hid. I was also worried for Kyle and his family. If anyone other than us found out that his dad was SkankHunt 42, his family would have been run out of town, or worse.

He also caused a lot of strain between the male, female, or other gender identity population in our elementary school. His insults towards women pushed the girls over the edge and caused them to declare war on all boys. I was spared since the girls saw me as an honorary girl; quite ironic since I'm really one. Things have started to smooth over, but I still have to at least be present in the room for the girls and boys to not start a fight.

I watch Mysterion approach Gerald and help him sit up. He stays silent for a few seconds in deep thought before softly sighing.

"Great and noble warrior," Mysterion chants in a knightly manor, "even though my companion and I have defeated you in battle, the hand of the Princess is rightfully yours." I'm taken back by this, but then I realize that just allowing Gerald to believe that he still won was the best option. Gerald straightens back up, trying to give us a smug smirk, but failing miserably.

"Ha ha," he taunts, "even though I lose to you peasants I still come out victorious, but … weakened. I must ingest a potion of healing, so I can return to Nippopolis and caress my beloved! Can you … help a guy out?"

(Potion of … wait. Does he mean …) I reach into my pocket and pull out the vial of cat piss. Mysterion grabs my arm once he sees the vial.

"Is that? … You're not really going to give him cat pee are you," he harshly whispers. I pull my arm out of his hand and put down the vial to write.

{I don't really like the idea, but would you rather have him become conscious and remember what we did here? His wife will kill us!}

"Hmm, good point," Mysterion replies.

{As long as we keep him here, he won't get into any trouble. After I give him the 'potion', you call Mrs. Broflovski to let her know he's here and high as fuck.} Mysterion stifles a chuckle before heading over to the other end of the roof with his hand-me-down cell phone he got from Butters. I pick up the vial and give it to Gerald.

"Of course, this will do nicely," Gerald says, "If you ever need help, call me and I shall fight by your side." I then hear my phone ping. I open it up and see a new update in my character sheet. I open up the add and scroll over to the newest update. It's a list of summonses. I can call on Gerald to help me in battle as long as I have a cheesing vial on hand.

(I knew it was smart to save these vials!) As I exit the app, I remember that I need to take selfies in order to expand our franchise awareness. I open up my camera and show it to Gerald.

"Of course," he exclaims, "A portrait with Nippopolis' greatest warrior!"

(I'm surprised he's able to understand that I want a selfie.) I switch on my selfie camera and attach my phone to its attachable selfie stick. I stop myself from smiling and instead give a worried look. I don't want those who see my selfie to think that I like cheesing. I snap the photo and hear a little 'woo-hoo' letting me know that the photo has been added into my Coonstagram page.

"Our bond is sealed," Gerald declares. I let out a half-relieved, half-annoyed sigh and turn on my heels to head back to Mysterion. I hear the familiar 'WHAT, WHAT, WHAT!' of Mrs. Broflovski's voice. I see Mysterion holding the phone to his ear while using his other hand to cover his mouth. His voice sounds just like it does whenever he wears his signature orange parka. It was hard to understand what he said at first, but I learned how to interpret what he says over time.

"Yeah, he's pretty beat up," Kenny says into the phone, "I think he got into a fight with the cat he got high off of. … I don't know how he got up there like that. … Ok, thank you Mrs. Broflovski. Bye." I hear Mysterion sigh as he turns off his phone.

"Good news, Mrs. Broflovski is on her way to pick up her husband. We should get down to my backyard before she gets here. We still need to help my sister." I give a quick nod and follow Mysterion to the far-left corner of the roof. He carefully slides down he slope of his garage before backflipping off it. He flips over twice before landing quite gracefully in a classic superhero landing pose in his back lawn.

(… Wow … just … wow!) I know that I can't do what he just did. I just got lucky when I flipped into Cartman's backyard. I didn't even intend to flip. I notice a rain gutter pipe running down the back wall of Kenny's house. I slide down the edge of the roof and leap over to the roof of the main house. I stumble for a second, but I'm able to regain my balance. I then climb over to the gutter and slide down it into the backyard. Once my feet are on the ground, I follow Mysterion over to the gap between the house and the garage. There is a window just before the pile of lava. I can hear the gentle sobs from before.

(This must be where his sister's room is.) Mysterion slowly lifts open the slightly broken window before pulling himself up onto the railing before helping me up. There is a sheet covering the inside of the window. Mysterion carefully pulls off the tape before gently placing the sheet on the floor. We look into the room to see a little girl trying to stifle her upset hiccups. I can feel my heart sink within my chest. I look over to Mysterion to see a worried and heartsick look on his face. He slowly exhales before returning his face to its usual stoic stare.

"Karen," he quietly calls. Karen slightly jumps at the sound of Mysterion's voice. She turns around and her face lightens up, just a little bit.

"Guardian Angel," she softly cries.

Author's note:

This took longer than I thought it was going too! I hope to finish the next chapter quicker.

As shown from my profile and my many favorited stories, I am a Bunny shipper. I will add some splashes of my favorite ships in the story, but not too much.

The story can also be used for helpful tips on how to beat the game and where to find special objects such as the fast pass system (Tupperware Transporters for the story), Member berries, and Yaoi. I just hope I'm not adding to much filler.

I didn't know whether to have Sally and Kenny fight Gerald, but I decided that it would make a good side story since Kenny and Gerald both fought in the episode. Thank you all for your support on the story. I plan to write for the whole game and the DLC's. 😊


	5. Chapter 5

The Fractured but Whole: Freedom Pals Unite!

Chapter 5: Mission 1: Dolly in Danger Part 1

Mysterion and I climb down from the window pane and into Karen's bedroom. I feel a chill run down my spine, not only due to the temperature of the room, but also, it's condition. The room is extremely dirty, with cracks all around the ceiling and walls. The carpet is stained with mystery stains and her furniture looks like it's about to fall apart at the seams! Her bed is only an extremely filthy mattress! Even though she decorated the walls with multiple drawn pictures of pink butterflies and flowers, the horrible sting of the overall living conditions of the McCormick household overpowers it.

It was moments like this where I really felt pity for Kenny and his family. His dad is usually drunk, almost as bad as Randy; he can't hold down a job because of it. His mom washes dishes at the local Olive Garden, but she only earns enough for electricity, pop tarts, and frozen waffles, if she is able to keep it away from her husband and her oldest son, Kevin. Kenny seems to be the only member of the family that is trying to better their lives. He's been working for Mr. Kim at City Wok in order to earn extra money for the house, himself, and Karen. I know that Karen would want to help the family, but she's too young to understand how hard that is to do.

(No wonder he uses Mysterion to try and change his family's ways.) I look over to Karen and fell my heart sink even more. Her face shows signs of healing bruises and her green coat is wrinkled and stained. Her maroon gloves look ready to unravel. Her black pants and shoes look alright, and her hair is tied into two cute little pigtails. I watch as Karen runs into Mysterion's arms, trying hard not to cry again. Mysterion looks at me with a worried look on his face. He smooths Karen's hair in an attempt to calm her down.

"Shhh, Karen," Mysterion soothes, "I'm here. Tell what's wrong." She lifts her head from Mysterion's chest and looks up at him. She looks like she's about to say something, but then she turns her head to me.

"Who is that," Karen softly asks. Mysterion looks at me and back at his sister.

"Uhh … He's a guardian angel in training. I brought him along to learn what it means to be a guardian angel."

(Guardian angel? … Wait, Karen called Kenny that. … Oh my gosh! Kenny, you are a saint!) I can't help but beam at the realization of what else Kenny's been doing as Mysterion. I see Mysterion return a soft smile before returning his attention to Karen.

"Karen, please tell us what's wrong." She wipes away the emerging tears from her eyes before looking back up at Mysterion.

"I wanted to play with some of the girls from my class at the playground," Karen whimpers, "so I brought my doll so I could play too. But then these big kids came and started kicking sand at us. I tried to get away, but they pushed me to the ground. They picked on the girls I was playing with and said that hanging out with a poor kid will make them poor to. They then took all of our dolls and ran away. The girls started calling me names and blaming me for what happened. I … I didn't mean for any of this to happen!" Karen buries her face into Mysterion's chest and bitterly cries. My heart stops sinking and starts shattering. Mysterion switches between faces of pity and anger.

"So, you're upset that those girls blamed you for their dolls being taken away," Mysterion questions.

"No," Karen squeaks as she looks back up at Mysterion, "I'm more worried about my big brother Kenny! He bought me my doll, and now it's gone! I lost a gift from him! How can I ever face him after this?!" Karen hugs Mysterion tighter as more crystal tears fall down her cheeks. My heart shatters into dust.

(She's more worried about Kenny being mad at her for losing her doll.) Mysterion looks as if he's about to start crying too. He gently kisses Karen's forehead and holds her closer.

"Karen, your brother loves you. I know that he won't stop loving you just because your doll was taken from you. Please, don't think like that." Karen only continues to cry into Mysterion's chest. Mysterion's entire being seems to dim. He falls silent and continues to hug Karen.

I feel the dust of my heart flare up and freeze over. You'd think our modernization would make the citizens of our quiet mountain town more cautious of how they treat one another. … Then again, they did send Officer Barbrady to kill us when we scared many homeless people away from Kenny's house, forcing them to make camp around Shi Tpa Town and the Whole Foods. Once they learned that we were just playing ninjas, they pushed the blame onto Barbrady when he accidentally shot David. I return my attention to Karen and feel a powerful tugging at my heart. I pull out my note pad and start writing.

(It's my duty as a Freedom Pal to help the people of this town, and Karen McCormick is one of the few people that truly deserves our help.) I finish my message and clear my throat to get Karen's attention. As she turns her head towards me, I show her the note.

{We'll get your doll back for you.} Karen wipes her eyes and looks at me with hope twinkling in her eyes.

"You … you will," Karen stammers. I give her a sweet smile and confidently nod my head. Karen's frown transforms into a wide grin as she let's go of Mysterion and wraps her arms around my waist.

"Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you," she squeals in delight. I fell the pieces of my heart begin to reassemble as I pat her head. Mysterion gives me a look of pride before returning to his poker face. As Karen let's go of me, I pull out my note pad again.

{Now, what does your doll look like?}

"She looks like this," Karen replies. She walks over to the dresser and pulls out one of the bottom drawers. She lifts out a long, medium-sized box and hands it to me. I look at the photo of the doll at the back of the box. It has a baby-like face with rosy cheeks, pink lips, blue eyes, and long eyelashes. Its blonde hair is tied into the same pigtails Karen has. It wears a hot pink dress with a blue flower sown into the side and dark pink flats. I quickly snap a photo of the doll before handing the box back to Karen.

"Please be careful Guardian Angels," Karen pleads, "The big kids who took my doll were really big and mean." I pat Karen's head and give her a reassuring smile. Mysterion gives her a quick hug before leading me back to the window.

"Don't worry Karen," Mysterion consoles, "We can handle this." We pull ourselves onto the window pane and jump down onto the ground. We jog over to the rain gutter and climb up it to reach the roof. Once my feet are on the roof's surface, Mysterion gently grabs my shoulders and pulls me to the side.

"Thanks for stepping in back there," Mysterion thanks, "You really gave Karen a hope boost."

{How could I say no that face?}

"Heh, yeah. One look from Karen and I'm putty in her hands too. If my kryptonite wasn't poverty, it would be her." He leaps over to the roof of his garage and trudges up the curved roof of Bi the garage. As I catch up to him, we notice Mrs. Broflovski pulling Gerald away by his ear across the front yard.

"HOW COULD YOU DO THIS," Shelia rants, "YOU'RE LUCKY THAT KENNY CALLED ME BEFORE YOU COULD DO ANYTHING STUPID!"

"UNHAND ME YOU VILE MAMMARY GOBLIN," Gerald screeches. I stifle a snicker at the scene. Mysterion smirks in amusement before leading us over to the back of the roof and climbing down onto the glass railing. I follow right behind as we descend down the stairs and out of the abandoned shop.

"Alright Douchebag," Mysterion instructs, "all investigations should start at the scene of the crime. We'd better head over to the playground. The kids there may have seen what happened to Karen's doll." I quickly nod my head and jog behind Mysterion across his yard. We pass over the train tracks and head over to where Kyle's house is. We turn just a few meters from Kyle's front lawn and approach the open gate of the playground. I am met the playful cheers of kindergarteners, 1st graders, and a few 2nd graders playing on the pirate themed fort, slide, and swings. I'd have to say that there are about 12 kids in total. I notice Mysterion's overall demeanor begin to soften as he approaches the sand lot. A little boy with spiky black hair, black sneakers, blue jeans, and a red t-shirt with a monster truck on it notices us and jumps up in excitement.

"It's Mysterion," he chants. He rushes over to Mysterion and jumps into his arms just as the other kids begin to stop what they're doing and rush over themselves. I watch as a wall of bubbly children circle around Mysterion, trying to get his attention by showing him toys or pictures on their phones, tugging on his cloak, or by hugging his legs. Mysterion chuckles in amusement and adoration as he places the black-haired kid down on the asphalt.

"Hello little superheroes," he greets. He starts shifting his attention from kid to kid, trying to quiet them down. I feel my lips pull into a full smile and my heart begins to melt.

(Note to self: Mysterion loves kids.) Once the kids begin to settle down, I move in next to Mysterion.

"Are you here to tell us another story about your adventures," a little kindergarten girl with yellow pigtails asks.

"As much as I would love to," Mysterion sighs, "I'm on a mission right now with our rookie." He gestures his hand towards me and I smile and wave at the kids in response.

"We actually could use your help," Mysterion continues, "We're looking for this stolen doll. Have any of you seen it?" I pull out my phone and open up my photos. I press on the photo of Karen's doll and show it to the children. I notice four girls narrow their eyes at the photo. All of them look to be Karen's age. One is a little Asian girl with pencil straight short hair and a yellow t-shirt with pink flowers on it, blue jeans, and grey sneakers. Two of the girls are blondes and look to be identical twins. One has her hair tied into a pony tail and is wearing a light blue blouse, white shorts, and grey flats. The other has her hair cut short and is wearing a red t-shirt, jean shorts, and black sneakers. The last girl has short red hair with her bangs clipped back and is wearing a purple and blue stripped shirt, black pants, and black flats.

"Oh, it's that poor kid's doll," the red-haired girl mumbles.

"Her doll wasn't the only one taken," the Asian girl remarks flatly, "My doll that my nǎinai bought for me was taken too."

"All of our dolls were taken because of that poor kid," the twin with the short hair fumes, "Those boys were right, we shouldn't have played with her!" Mysterion and I narrow our eyes at that remark. Mysterion closes his eyes and slowly exhales, stopping himself from lashing out at the four girls.

"We'll get all of your dolls back," Mysterion flatly sighs, "but I want to hear any more of that talk."

"But those sixth graders only started picking on us when we started playing with her," The twin with the ponytail responds, "They said that Kelly McDonald is a worthless piece of …" I frantically shake my hands in front of her eyes to stop her from saying the last word.

(I can stand a lot of fucked up things, but not little kids cursing.)

"Her name is Karen McCormick, and she is not the reason that … WAIT! Did you just say that the big kids were sixth graders," Mysterion blurts! I feel my blood freeze over. I can't count how many times the sixth graders attacked me around town. I've been assaulted with wet willies, burps, snot, and piss balloons almost weekly.

(I can't believe we're biologically destined to become those monsters in a few years.) The girls tremble as they nod their heads. Mysterion's expressions softens as he kneels down to the girls.

"I can understand why you blamed Karen for what those Sixth graders did to you, but you need to understand that she was being picked on too," Mysterion consoles, "So, will you girls give Karen another chance if you see her again?" The girls look between each other for a few seconds before gently nodding at Mysterion. I feel my heart lighten at the girls' quick change of heart. I pull out my notepad and begin to write again.

{Do you know where those sixth graders took your dolls?}

"I heard one of the boys say they were going to a restaurant with a strange name," the Asian girl declares, "I think it was called 'Prunes' or something."

"Raisins," Mysterion states, "Why would they bring the dolls there?"

{Your guess is as good as mine.} I've never been to Raisins myself. I've only heard about it from the guys. It's apparently run by very attractive girls our age. They sell typical fast food but charge at high prices. They seem to get away with it since they charm every boy they blow a kiss to or wink at.

"Well, don't you worry about a thing girls," Mysterion reassures, "We'll have your dolls back before you know it." We pull ourselves up from the asphalt and jog towards the west entrance of the playground. I hear the cheers of the kids begin to fade into the background as we reach the crosswalk leading to Main Street. I glance at Mysterion and find myself pulling my lips into wide smile. Mysterion catches my smile and returns a slight smile in response.

"Yeah, as you can see, I'm good with little kids," he declares, "I try to be a good role model for them so they don't turn into little shits like us and the guys. But don't expect to see the kid-friendly Mysterion often. The main Mysterion is a dark, cold, bad-ass."

(In other words, your cuddly around kids and cold around everything else. Got it.) I quickly nod in response and continue to jog down Main Street. We stop at the gap leading to the construction site and unhitch the gate. I notice an advertisement sign for Raisins on the left side. I guess this is the only way to Raisins with all the construction and the concert going on. I hold my breath as we trudge down the alleyway, trying not to breathe in the scent of piss and smoke again. I'm able to breathe again once we leave the alley and sprint across the road. We make a sharp left and continue down the sidewalk. I think I can see Raisins up ahead. Looks like a regular old restaurant from the outside.

(I wonder what it's like in …)

"WARNING! YOU HAVE 5 SECONDS TO STEP AWAY FROM THE DOOR!" I trip over my feet and fall onto a metal plate. I push myself up a little and look in the direction of the voice. I feel my blood chill as I see two laser guided machine guns pointed at my head. I suddenly hear the robot voice counting down from 5. I scramble to my feet and leap out of the way just as the voice reaches 1 and the machine guns start firing at the metal plate. I fall hard on my side a pretty good distance away from the firing range. I can feel my heart pounding in my chest and my ears. My breathing is sharp and short. I push myself up again to see what those guns were protecting.

(… W-WHAT THE FUCK!) The building that the guns are wired to looks like a Kentucky Fried Chicken! I feel a pair of hands hook under my arms and pull me up to my feet. I turn my head to look at Mysterion helping me up.

"Dude, are you ok," he asks. I softly growl as I yank my arms to my sides.

(OK?! I WAS ALMOST TURNED INTO SWISS CHEESE!) I angrily and frantically gesture towards the KFC. Mysterion lifts up his hands in defense.

"Woah dude, chill," he declares, "Don't get mad at me for what the Medicinal Marijuana shop did."

(MEDICINAL WHAT!?) I snap my head back to the KFC. I can't see anything inside due to the windows and there is no sign. I look back to Mysterion confused.

{How is that a Medicinal Marijuana dispensary?}

"It just appeared two weeks ago. They got rid of the KFC and moved it somewhere else. I guess they considered not supplying Marijuana to anyone who 'needed it' was non-PC." I softly groan. I get really annoyed by PC Principal and his fraternity group. He constantly polices others' words, clothing, and movements and just starts punching them if he sees that they are not being politically correct. I am safe from his wrath by being silent, but I wish he would chill out sometimes. I shake my head and motion for Mysterion to lead on to Raisins.

"Raisins is just in the next building. Be ready. Those girls may look harmless, but they will suck you dry."

{By suck you mean?}

"Money Douchebag." Mysterion narrows his eyes at me. I get the message to drop the joke. I write a quick sorry on my page and follow Mysterion to the other side of the pavement.

We stop in front of a larger building painted in white and orange. I see small flags decorating the gutter, posters of some girls in the windows, and I can hear music and laughter coming from inside. Mysterion nods to me and moves toward the door. I follow right behind and help him push open the door.

Author's note:

I'M NOT DEAD! I am so sorry for not uploading in nearly a year. I have been busy with school, have gotten writers block, but the main reason is that I just forgot about my story. I hope to not have such big gaps in my uploads anymore, but I can't make any promises.

I do plan to continue my story and possibly start a new series staring my New Kid, but within the original story in the game. I plan to upload part two of this story soon. Thank you all for your support and patience.


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